EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL USE ON BRAIN DISORDERS AND COGNITION
Heavy alcohol consumption has both immediate and long-term detrimental effects on the brain and neuropsychological functioning (Delin and Lee 1992; Evert and Oscar- Berman 1995). Heavy drinking accelerates shrinkage, or atrophy, of the brain, which in turn is a critical determinant of neurodegenerative changes and cognitive decline in ageing (Meyer et al. 1998).
pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-4/299-306.htm ... See MoreSee Less
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Tomorrow Josh Connolly will be joined for #lunchtimelives at 12pm by Toby Williams,
Toby is a political writer and a real activist for COAs so please tune in over on Instagram and get involved in the conversation during #COAWeek2021 ... See MoreSee Less
The Adapted Child (inner teenager) is a child’s version of an adult that developed to protect the Wounded Child. Often a perfectionist, harsh, contemptuous, unforgiving, arrogant, grandiose, and judgmental. Sees the world in black and white, and only cares about surviving. Views intimacy as a threat, and can be the aggressor or identifies with the aggressor. To help engage the Functioning Adult, reparenting and healing the Adapted Child is key. ... See MoreSee Less
Seana's Story - one of thousands unheard. ... See MoreSee Less
𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙏𝙧𝙖𝙪𝙢𝙖 & 𝘼𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 | 𝘿𝙧. 𝙂𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙧 𝙈𝙖𝙩𝙚: 𝘾𝙤𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘽𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨
Codependency is, like triggers, perceptions, and just about every other part of ourselves, a function of what we learned as children. It has many facets, but a key part of it is a strategy of connecting our value or worth to what someone else does or doesn’t do. And co-dependency, as its name implies, requires two or more people. Typically, one is caretaker or ‘enabler’, the other is the dependent. Often, the roles between the two interchange. But it isn’t a one-way relationship; the enabler often gains a sense of worthiness, a means of control, or some other benefit, while the dependent is, in some way taken care of. It is rarely an effective relationship in the long term.
Codependency is a topic that has entire books written about it. This post is in the context of addiction and families, where codependency is nearly always present. But before we go further, note that codependent behaviors are learned from our parents and the environment we grow up in. Our parents, in turn, learned it from their parents. No one wakes up and decides to be codependent, and no one intends to behave that way. So let’s put aside any judgment or shame,
Regardless of whether we’re the dependent or the enabler, codependency interferes with autonomy. It makes it hard to think for yourself. It makes for blurred boundaries. And many people use the word in a way that’s dripping with judgment or accusation: “Stop being codependent.” “If you weren’t so codependent, I could just live my life.” But if we can view codependency through the lens that Gabor is showing us, we might see a different perspective.
Think about codependency, boundaries, and what we’ve already learned about perception. Codependency, whether we are enabler or dependent, is driven by perceptions that are filtered by our earlier-in-life experiences. It’s further complicated by the intertwined nature of the connection between the codependents. All of these pieces fit together.
In our addiction-affected families, we often hear from the enabling person “I have to save him” or “She needs my help” or “I can’t just let him be on the street” or something similar. Conversely, we hear from the dependent person “I wish she weren’t so controlling” or “I wish she’d leave me alone.” Of course, we hear the opposite messages as well: “Why won’t you do this for me”, or “I can’t take this anymore.” Codependency represents a constant struggle between competing desires and needs, which are rarely met. Everything comes with strings attached. Both parties struggle with resentments toward each other. Boundaries (on both sides) are rarely respected.
In short, nobody’s happy. And that’s because our unmet needs and our filtered perceptions are getting in the way. If we’re an enabler, we probably want to be loved and appreciated. Or to feel needed. Or to gain control, so we don’t feel out of control. If we’re a dependent, we probably aren’t good at asking for our needs. Or we don’t feel confident. Or we don’t feel lovable. (Yes, a lot of those “feels” are perceptions, not needs. They’re used here for language simplicity.)
So much of the web of codependency is driven by perception and unmet needs. Here’s the catch: Understanding it intellectually doesn’t mean we can just change our behavior. We’ve spent decades learning it. The underlying behaviors and perceptions allowed us to survive. So it will take time to learn new, more effective strategies.
One of the first things we can do is simply acknowledge our behaviors. Talk to the people we’re connected with. Have conversations about codependency. Own our own behaviors, and ask the other person to acknowledge theirs. Agree to gently, respectfully, and lovingly point out or remind each other when we’re acting with codependence.
And… we can give ourselves, and those around us, permission to be imperfect. To fail. To fall into old patterns. We can recognize that overcoming these behaviors is a practice. It’s not something we achieve and are done with. When we do that, it’s much easier to accomplish.
For those of us who are on the enabling end of the spectrum, it can be scary to let go. To step back, and to give up control, judgment, and expectation. But when we do this, often, something wonderful happens. The person we’ve been tangled up with suddenly feels the freedom of not being controlled. S/he doesn’t have to worry about disappointing you. There’s no fear about what happens if s/he fails. With the loss of that pressure, and those expectations, very often the person can now feel free to actually improve him or herself. Maybe they’ll ask for help from someone other than you. Maybe they’ll ask you, but in a different way.
And for those of us who are dependent, having boundaries, and letting go of the codependent support we may have relied on can also be freeing. We may suddenly feel our sense of worth improving. We might discover that we can now make our own decisions. Even if they aren’t perfect ones, we learn, and we can get better.
Nothing about this process is easy. But we can approach it with love, compassion, and non-judgment. Curiosity. An open mind. A recognition that no one is at fault, no one is to blame, no one is trying to harm the other person. With that perspective, we communicate better. We have clearer, more effective boundaries. We can find our worthiness within ourselves. And ultimately, that helps us live happier, healthier lives. ... See MoreSee Less
The Reality of Legalizing Cocaine, Heroin, and Ecstasy | The War on Drugs ... See MoreSee Less
Hello, My name is drugs. I tear families apart, take your children, and that’s just the start.
I’m more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
and if u need me, remember I’m easily found, I live all around you, in schools and in town.
I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door.
My power is awesome; try me you’ll see, but if you do, you may NEVER break free.
Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I’ll own your soul.
When I possess you, you’ll steal, cheat, and lie. You do what you have to just to get high.
The crimes you’ll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you’ll feel in your arms.
You’ll lie to your mother; you’ll steal from your dad When you see their tears, you should feel bad.
But you’ll forget your morals and how you were raised, I’ll be your conscience, I’ll teach you my ways.
I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from god, and separate friends.
I’ll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I’ll be with you always, right by your side.
You’ll give up everything… your family, your home… your friends, your money, then you’ll be alone.
I’ll take and take, till you have nothing more to give. When I’m finished with you you’ll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned this is no game. If given the chance, I’ll drive you insane.
I’ll ravish your body; I’ll control your mind. I’ll own you completely; your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I’ll give you while lying in bed, the voices you’ll hear from inside your head,
the sweats, the shakes, the visions you’ll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me,
But then it’s too late, and you’ll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part.
You’ll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.
You could have said no, and just walked away, If you could live that day over, now what would you say?
I’ll be your master; you will be my slave, I’ll even go with you, when you go to your grave.
Now that you have met me, what will you do? Will you try me or not? Its all up to you.
I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, I’ll take you to HELL!
It not a Joke, share this with those that need to hear it.
via Stephen Kramer @Addiction Actually ... See MoreSee Less
Photos from Drugs and Me's post ... See MoreSee Less
In this heart wrenching and beautifully written piece Jess articulates so well the many emotions felt when losing a parent,
She explains the contrasting reactions from people when she first lost her Dad, and how difficult she found it to talk about him, as her childhood memories didn’t feel appropriate to share, and the grieving process felt so different too.
The grief of a parent who dies of alcoholism can also be of the loss of the parent they dreamed one day they would become, and the many emotions that follow
Read the piece here: nacoa.org.uk/experiences/grief/?slug=for-adults
#coaisathing #acoa #childrenofalcoholics #grief #griefjourney #addiction ... See MoreSee Less
How true! Support for families is key to a healthy and successful recovery 🙏 ... See MoreSee Less
Trauma often happens to codependents in childhood, then again in Adult relationships or other life events. Talk to a therapist, attend a support group, and have a spiritual practice, like meditation. Read about 6 types of #meditation in "#Codependency for Dummies." amzn.to/2m3ef8L Get a Self-Love Meditation bit.ly/2XRG9d6 #trauma ... See MoreSee Less
Family recovery is key ... See MoreSee Less
Dry drunk -loss of emotional sobriety ©
Dry Drunk Syndrome - applies to addiction to drugs too.
~ Dry drunk syndrome is a term that refers to someone who is not drinking or using drugs but they have already relapsed emotionally.
If someone is a “dry drunk” it basically refers to the fact that they are not actively working on their recovery, and therefore they might just as well be drinking or using – although they have not technically done so yet.
So basically: Dry drunk = relapse mode.
It is often characterized as being “restless, irritable, and discontent.” Anyone who is in this state of mind is headed for trouble unless they can somehow pull themselves out of it before they pick up a drink or use.
A lot of symptoms include being angry a lot, being over anxious, never happy, always judging others.
Identifying dry drunk syndrome
It all starts with self awareness. This is critical because if you simply storm through your life and your recovery without paying close attention to your own emotional state then chances are good that you will at some point be knocked off balance and thus risk relapse. So we have to pay attention to our own emotional state and occasionally take action to correct it.
How quickly do we always recognize when we are getting restless, irritable, and discontent? You might think that we can identify these states instantly but they can creep up on us sometimes. Therefore we must make a conscious decision to recognize these emotional states and “catch ourselves” when we think we are going there. Now there are some things you can do once you realize you are sliding into this emotional state but if you never even realize it in the first place then these things will do you no good.
So you have to be aware of when things start sliding out of control. How can you practice this? By simply paying attention. Become aware of it and watch it happen in yourself. Notice it. This is a huge part of the solution and in fact it is almost the entire solution. Simply become more self aware and tune in to your own emotional state. Recognize where you are at throughout the day.
Strategies for overcoming dry drunk syndrome
1) Self awareness - Like we mentioned above, simply increasing your self awareness is a huge part of this process and can work wonders. The more mindful you can become of your own emotional state, the more protected you will become against becoming overly off balance.
2) Networking - If you are restless, irritable, and discontent, find someone who is even worse off than you are and then help them through it. This might sound ridiculous but it absolutely works. One of the best ways to do this is to regularly work with newcomers in recovery. When we reach out and help others we actually help ourselves. When we reach out to others and calm them down emotionally we are actually calming ourselves. When we teach others the way to emotional balance we teach ourselves.
When networking with others in recovery becomes a habit then this creates a safety net. This is why 12 step programs recommend daily meetings. If you are “plugged in” to this type of networking every single day then it can help protect you from becoming too far off in your emotional balance.
3) Action based recovery – one of the worst ways to fight dry drunk syndrome is to do nothing. If you don’t do anything to try and actively correct your emotional state then you run the risk of letting it progress into a true relapse. Essentially a dry drunk has already relapsed emotionally and is one step away from the bottle/pill/sniff or hit/fix. So the key is to pull yourself out of the emotional relapse. How can this happen?
Action. It is purposeful action that will make a difference in this case. Don’t think that you can sit around and wait for the solution to come to you. It won’t. You have to get out there and create your recovery.~
Remember that it is our natural state for addicts and alcoholics to be using drugs and alcohol. This is our “normal” behavior and we will return to it eventually unless we take action to do something else.~
For us, that “something else” that we need to do in recovery is to create a meaningful and purposeful life of sobriety. This doesn’t happen while sitting on a couch. You have to have vision and you have to chase your goals and you have to get out there and do stuff.
Find your passion and take action.~ Action items – what you can do:-
1) Tune in to your emotional state – so that you are aware if you are acquiring dry drunk syndrome.
2) Make a habit - of helping others in recovery as protection against relapse.
3) Focus on action in recovery – don’t do nothing. @Addiction Actually ... See MoreSee Less
One of the main missions of PTSD UK is to raise awareness of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in the UK – this means that we need to have a strong, memorable and recognisable brand for the charity.
Our logo was created by our founder with a huge amount of thought behind it – it’s much more than just a colourful shape.
Find out more about PTSD UK and what we do on our website: ptsduk.org ... See MoreSee Less
✨Help us to continue providing support to the #Forgotten5Million people affected by someone else's drug or alcohol use ✨
👨👨👧👧Donate to our appeal today: adfam.org.uk/forgotten5million-appeal ... See MoreSee Less
How Childhood Trauma Leads to Addiction - Gabor Maté ... See MoreSee Less